Brain Parking: A Place for the Mind to Rest on the Fertility Journey
Being on a journey to get pregnant touches everything — your sense of self, your future, your relationships, your body, and often your faith in life itself. It lives quietly in the background of your days and, at times, takes center stage in your thoughts. The mind moves constantly, from hope to fear, from imagining what could be to bracing for disappointment, sometimes all within the same hour.
Clients often tell me that it is hard enough to deal with the physical, emotional, and financial demands of this journey, but the nonstop thinking is exhausting. They wish they could shut off their brain, even briefly.
This is where Brain Parking can become a real lifeline. Not because it removes uncertainty or controls outcomes, but because it brings clarity, organization, and support into an experience that is inherently uncertain and emotionally demanding.
Chaos and Organization, Inside and Outside
Imagine choosing a fertility clinic. Would you go to a place that feels messy, chaotic, disorganized, and unreliable? Or would you choose one that feels clear, grounded, organized, and contained?
Most of us intuitively know the answer.
Yet internally, many people experience the opposite. On a fertility journey, the mind is constantly flooded. Thoughts move quickly from hope to fear, from maybe to certainty, from yes to no. Physical sensations shift. Hormonal changes influence mood and focus. Stories and meanings form rapidly. Emotional highs and crashes follow.
This isn’t something we consciously choose. It’s a natural human habit and a response to prolonged uncertainty, emotional strain, and waiting. At the same time, we’re not helpless. We can impact our inner climate. Over time, with intention, we can create a more organized internal experience, for more moments of the day.
Brain Parking is one way to do that.
When the inner environment feels more organized and supported, the nervous system functions more efficiently. This supports emotional health, physical regulation, and a greater sense of steadiness as you move through the fertility journey.
The Brain Parking Exercise
To begin, take a piece of paper or use your phone and divide the space into three columns. These columns are your parking lots.
Column One: Words and Felt Sense
In the first column, write words your mind can return to.
What matters most is not the word itself, but how it feels when you read it or say it quietly to yourself. Slow down and notice what happens in your body. Some words create softening, space, or steadiness. Others may do very little.
Trust your own response.
Examples of words you might include are:
calm
wholeness
possibility
patience
acceptance
self love
power
resilience
marathon mindset
joy
success
self appreciation
connection
positive results
knowing
fulfillment
abundance
I am good
Trust
I am worthy
Each word becomes a place your mind can land, instead of continuing to roam endlessly.
Column Two: Clear Space
The second column is clear space.
In this column, you mostly leave it empty. You can write one simple word or phrase that represents neutrality or absence of content.
Examples include:
White noise
Clear space
One shade
Air
Nothingness
Clear board
This column exists for moments when the system does not need more meaning, imagery, or effort. Sometimes the nervous system does not need better input. It needs pause.
Column Three: Images
The third column works through visual language.
Here, you write down or collect images rather than words. These can be neutral images, or pregnancy-related images if they feel supportive and not activating.
Neutral images might be simple and steady. Pregnancy-related images might include implantation imagery, a thick lining, or a positive result, only if they do not create tension or pressure.
As with the words, notice how the image feels. If it brings urgency or stress, it does not belong here. If it creates steadiness or support, it does.
A Brief Note on Science
Research in psychology and neuroscience consistently shows that attention, language, mental imagery, and emotional states influence nervous system regulation and stress response. We are not passive recipients of our inner world. What we repeatedly focus on shapes how the system learns to respond over time.
Brain Parking shifts you from constant reactivity to more active participation in your internal experience, even while your body, hormones, and circumstances continue to change.
From Destination to Practice
Once you’ve created your lists, think of this like putting a destination into a navigation app. Knowing where you want to go is great, but making steps and driving toward the destination is what gets you there.
That driving happens in two ways.
Reactive use means noticing when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally flooded, or stuck in mental loops, and intentionally parking your brain in one of the places you created.
Proactive use means visiting these parking lots when nothing is wrong. Even one or two minutes a day builds familiarity over time. The brain learns there are places it can go besides constant reactivity.
Pay attention to what works best for you, what time of day feels most supportive, and how long you stay. Repetition and predictability help this practice settle into daily life.
This journey is not simple, and it is not only medical. It is emotional, cognitive, physical, relational, and deeply human.
Brain Parking will not remove uncertainty, but it can help you feel more organized and supported as you move through it.
Good luck. And if you want to share your experience or have questions, I’d love to hear.
You’re welcome to reach out if you have questions or want support.
