Focused Couples Therapy
Rebuilding Connection with Honesty and Care
You’re Not Ready to Give Up, But You Can’t Keep Going Like This
Couples Therapy: A Direct and Compassionate Approach
You may be asking yourself:
Can this relationship be saved? Can this marriage be more satisfying? Can my partner actually hear me?
You may feel exhausted—tired of the same arguments, the tension, the silence. Communication has become difficult. You try to express what you need, but it often feels like you’re not fully heard or seen.
Some moments, you feel love and connection. You remember why you chose each other. But other times, the frustration runs so deep it starts affecting other parts of your life. You find yourself avoiding conversations just to keep the peace—but at what cost? Are you giving up your needs to avoid conflict?
You may wonder:
Is this just how relationships are… or is something here not working?
But something brought you here.
You still want to give it a chance.
You want to learn how to live in more harmony—and to get more fulfillment from your relationship.
You’re not alone. In our work together, we begin right here—with honesty, clarity, and care.
My Approach to Couples Therapy
It’s easy to get stuck.
To dwell on what’s not working, what your partner isn't doing, what feels unfair or frustrating. The blame cycle can go on forever. And the more we stay there, the more we lose sight of ourselves—and each other.
In our work together, we shift the focus.
Instead of staying in what’s not happening, we explore:
What are your needs?
What does this bring up in you?
How can we express that with clarity and care?
Inspired by Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and trauma-informed principles, we understand that anger, distance, or withdrawal are often just the surface. Beneath that, there’s pain. A longing. A story that started long before this relationship.
Often, what shows up in your relationship—anger outbursts, frustration, shutdown, criticism—has roots in early experiences. When needs weren’t met, when love didn’t feel safe or consistent, we develop defenses to protect ourselves. And sometimes, those defenses are so ingrained we don’t even realize they’re running the show.
In therapy, we gently unpack these patterns.
We make space for what’s underneath the reaction.
We learn to speak differently.
And we begin to actually hear each other again.
What Happens in the Room
We start by slowing things down.
If things have been heated, confusing, or stuck, we first create a safe space where communication can soften. That means:
Helping you understand your own inner world
Creating tools to speak from feeling rather than accusation
Learning to listen with more curiosity and less defense
This is not about pretending everything’s okay.
It’s about being brave enough to look deeper—with support.
We explore both your shared dynamic and each partner’s individual journey. Because while relationships are shared spaces, they’re also made up of two full humans. And healing means each of you learning to fill your own cup while also showing up for each other in new ways.
How Many Sessions Do We Need?
It depends.
Every couple is different. But in most cases, I recommend starting with 6–8 weekly sessions. That’s usually the minimum needed to begin shifting patterns and creating new habits. Some couples then move into bi-weekly maintenance. Others may need more ongoing support, especially if there’s long-standing conflict or trauma.
Whatever your path, we go at a pace that feels right.
This is about real change—not a quick fix.
Intimacy, Sex, and Long-Term Love
Long-term relationships are both beautiful and complex.
Intimacy evolves. Passion can feel different. Life adds stress. And sometimes, connection fades—not from lack of love, but from disconnection, resentment, or unspoken needs.
In our work together, we’ll explore:
What intimacy means to each of you
What’s changed—and what’s still possible
How to create closeness, even when things feel distant
The emotional roots of sexual disconnection
As Esther Perel says, "The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives." I draw inspiration from her work—recognizing that erotic connection and emotional safety both matter, and that desire in long-term relationships requires curiosity, not just consistency.
We’ll talk about sex. We’ll talk about distance.
We’ll talk about what it means to feel truly seen again.
Samuel Smiles
“Hope Is The Companion Of Power, And Mother Of Success; For Who So Hopes Strongly Has Within Him The Gift Of Miracles.”
The Link Between Relationship Health and Well-Being
The connection between relationship distress and overall health is well-documented. Chronic tension, unresolved conflict, or emotional disconnection in a partnership can elevate stress levels, impact sleep, weaken immune response, and even increase the risk for anxiety or depression. When we feel emotionally unsupported or unseen in our closest relationship, it affects not just our mood—but our entire nervous system.
But let’s be real—no relationship is stress-free. It’s not about perfection. It’s about learning how to repair, communicate better, and co-regulate through difficult moments. The goal isn’t to never fight—it’s to fight in a way that doesn’t break the bond.
In couples therapy, we work on building that emotional safety and understanding. Tools for communication, regulation, and reconnection can lower stress, improve physical and emotional well-being, and bring more calm and clarity to both partners' lives.
Tools to Promote Better Relationships
In our work together, I offer tools that are grounded, effective, and tailored to your unique dynamic. These aren’t just communication tips—they’re strategies for building real connection and emotional safety.
Some tools we may use include:
Emotionally Focused Techniques
Understand the deeper needs behind reactions—so you can respond, not just react.Parts Work & Somatic Awareness
Tune into what’s happening inside you during conflict or shutdown, and learn how to stay present.
Communication Tools
Speak with clarity and honesty—without blame. Learn to really listen and reflect your partner’s experience.Repair Strategies
What do you do after a rupture? Learn how to come back to each other with respect and care.Intimacy and Connection Exercises
Explore ways to rebuild closeness—emotionally and physically—even if things have felt flat or disconnected for a while.Nervous System Regulation
When emotions run high, having tools to calm your body can change how you show up with your partner.
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Common Challenges We Work Through in Couples Therapy
Couples therapy isn’t just about communication—it’s about navigating the real-life stressors and emotional undercurrents that impact your connection. Here are some of the areas I help couples explore, understand, and grow through
Communication & Emotional Safety
Breaking cycles of blame criticism and shutdown
Learning to express needs without escalation or withdrawal
Rebuilding trust after years of disconnection or hurt
Conflict & Emotional Triggers
Understanding the roots of recurring arguments
Unpacking reactivity and learning to respond instead of react
Exploring how past trauma or childhood dynamics shape present interactions
Intimacy & Connection
Addressing changes in physical and emotional intimacy
Navigating differences in desire closeness and emotional expression
Creating space for vulnerability play and reconnection
Stressors Outside the Relationship
Parenting differences and blended family dynamics
Life transitions such as moving illness job loss or caregiving roles
Financial tension and decision-making struggles
Long-Term Partnership Challenges
Feeling like roommates instead of partners
Wondering if you're with the right person
Working through emotional affairs or ruptures of trust
Planning for the future with clarity and shared vision
